Envy
by Lilianna.S
Summary: Late night tears over living and dying. Are werewolves aloud to envy vampires?


"What's wrong?" Jordan asked Maia, he could feel her tears soak through his t-shirt. He pulled her closer so that her face was snuggled in between his neck, and shoulder.

"Nothing," she croaked, trying desperately to breathe evenly.

Jordan didn't believe, because of the one simple reason, she was Maia. Maia didn't cry, she was tough, and honestly could probably kick his ass. Jordan rubbed slow circles on her back, trying to calm her. They were laying down in his bed, just soaking up in the comfortable silence, that only they could have. Jordan tomorrow was to go back to his job, and find a new werewolf to watch over. This was his last job, he had promised her, and than he'd be all hers. Mayi pulled herself closer, tucking her head beside his neck, and breathing in the scent that was all him.

"I love you," she whispered kissing his neck softly, before snuggling back into the croak of her neck.

"I love you too," he said kissing the top of her head. Jordan did love her, he loved her so much. He missed her all those years, and was said too that he had to leave.

"Don't cry," he said soothingly, when her tears wouldn't stop, "Maia, baby, ill come back."

"You might not," her voice cracked, and Jordan found that he would do anything, to help her, anything.

"I promise," he said lifting her head, and moving positions so now they were face to face, lying down on his king size bed.

"You don-"

"I promise,"

"Did your friend promise you he'd come back?" She asked her eyes, glowing with anger and still glistening with sadness. Jordan let his hand fall from her cheek, and nodded his head in understandment. She was right. His friend didn't come back. His friend died. But he wasn't his friend.

"I'm not him Maia," he told her, smiling sadly. Sometimes he did wish he was him, just so his friend could be alive. Jordan flopped back onto his bed, his head facing the ceiling. People die everyday, and his friend was one of them. You cant change death, it happens, its sad, but you must move on.

"I know," she sighed placing her head onto his chest, and fisting his shirt in her little hands. Her breathing was now at a normal rate, and her chest was heaving up in down in a slow rhythm. Jordan wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. He knew that him leaving was going to bother her, it bothered him too. But he needed to finish this last mission, before he could actually leave, and make a home with her.

"Sometimes I envy them," she whispered into his chest.

"Who?" he said softly, sliding his hand up the bottom of her shirt, and rubbing soothing circles on her bare back.

"Vampires." She told him. Jordan's movements halted, and his mind searched for things to say. Why would she want to be a vampire? Jordan understood, that having more anger than necessary really did suck. But taking blood from innocents sucked more.

"They don't have to be afraid of dying," she whispered. Jordan kissed the top of her head, in understanding. She was afraid of dying, afraid he was going to die.

"They could turn their love ones and never have to face death," she said shakily. Jordan lifted her head gently off of his chest, and placed it on her pillow. He pulled himself up so he was sitting crossed legged on the bed. He motioned for her to place her head on his lap.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, to her gently placing with her soft curls.

"What that you aren't a vampire?" she asked moving her head in his lap to look up to him, here eyebrow raised.

"No because you wouldn't be so afraid of death, if you were human. Being a werewolf has given you more opportunities to die, than an human will ever encounter. And for that I'm sorry," he told her, his thumb making slow soothing movements under her eyes. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, before turning her head and kissing his palm.

"No, don't blame yourself," she told him sternly, " I've always thought about death, always."

"But you wouldn't have to face it, all the time," he told her biting his lip. He was angry with himself, one for being angry and for turning her.

"That's not because of you." She told him shaking her head, before lifting her self out from his lap, and to lay side ways facing his body. She placed her head in her hand, as her elbow lifted her up, so she was eye level with him. "I chose this pack, I decided to stay with Luke even when I found out about his messed up past. I chose, not you."

Jordan sighed, and laid down, his head once again facing the ceiling. He knew fighting with her was pointless, Maia was stubborn. He wanted to yell at her, and shake her, so that she could see that this was all his fault. Everything bad that had happened to her, was his fault.

"I just want us all to live, forever, safe and happy," she told him, facing the ceiling.

"I don't want anyone to die," she said her voice cracking. Jordan turned his head, at the sound of her distraught voice, and watched as a tear slipped out of her beautiful eyes. He slowly reached for her, and pulled her closer to him. Her head resting on his chest, his arm wrapped around her, and there legs entwined.

"But don't you want to live?" He asked her, kissing the top of her head. Seeing her sad, made his heart clench in pain. He didn't want her to be sad, and he didn't want her to be afraid.

"Yes but-"

"Dying, is apart of living. If you were to be a vampire, you wouldn't be living a proper life. You wouldn't be able to get married-at a church- you wouldn't be able to have children, you wouldn't be able to grow old." He told her honestly, playing with her curls. "I want all those things with you, but if we were forever young, we wouldn't get that."

Maia nodded her head, understandingly, her lips curling up into a smile. Jordan to smiled happy that she understood. He slowly leaned down, and gently kissed her soft lips. Maia was his, and she would be forever, even after death.


End file.
